Effective Communication Blog

Jun 23, Retirement Wishes and Sentiments

Wed, 23 Jun 2010 22:51:31 GMT

Someone at work is retiring. Your boss, your best employee, your worst? Whoever is leaving for good, you may want to tell them a few words to let them know what you appreciated about them and to wish them well. Imelda P.S. I just finished changing the look of the people-communicating website. Hopefully it's easier on the eyes.

Jun 8, Retirement Gift Etiquette

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 04:19:18 GMT

Got a question from a senior level manager in California, asking for help regarding a retirement gift for his boss. The manager wants to give a memorable gift to his soon to be retired boss but he/she doesn't want to foot the entire bill. The manager wonders what's the right way to ask the staff to help him/her pay for the boss' gift.

Apr 21, Someone with half the experience gets the promotion

Wed, 21 Apr 2010 03:31:04 GMT

I received an intriguing story, from Wayne in Texas, about how a guy with half of Wayne's experience got a leadership position while Wayne was on leave. Wayne fears that the executive staff was given the wrong information about him, causing him to lose the leadership position. Wayne thinks it's going to take a lot of work to undo the damage that may have been inflicted on him. I took a leap in the dark and concluded that Wayne's absence played a big role in him being skipped for the assignment. What's your take?

Apr 15, Communication Anxiety: Fear of Public Speaking

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 19:13:09 GMT

Check out this article about communication anxiety and fear of public speaking, by Barbara Rocha, author of Getting Over Yourself: A Guide to Painless Public Speaking.

I attended one of Barbara's workshops (How to Overcome Stress in Public Speaking) while working at a municipality. At the time I was preparing to give a keynote speech at a technology conference. Up until that point, I had been forcing myself to give speeches hoping that practice would help me get rid of the anxiety of speaking in front of groups. During Barbara's workshop, I practiced doing a presentation to a "pretend" City Council - Barbara was the Mayor and the others students were Councilmembers. When I finished giving my presentation, Barbara gave me a puzzled look and said: Why did you change your personality? You became someone else, all your warmth was gone and you seemed... rigid. I told her that I needed to be that way at work. She paused and then said: Maybe that job is not a good fit for you. When the workshop was over, I went on the give the keynote speech at the technology conference, with confidence and ease, despite the fact that over a thousand faces were looking at me. However, back at work I was still struggling with presentations to a few people. The workshop had changed forever my sense of awareness. I began to notice that my personality did change while at work, more so in front of higher ups. I realized that while I was happier inside and more at ease, the lack of fit was more evident than ever. I eventually left my city government job to strike out on my own. Here I almost said: "... and I've never looked back", but it wouldn't be true. When I look back, I think of the people that I used to work with and miss them. If you're struggling with communication anxiety and fear of public speaking, read the full post for more info on how to deal with it. Better yet, attend Barbara's Workshop How to Overcome Stress in Public Speaking coming up (May 5,6 and 7), and become more confident speaking to audiences. In case you wonder, I don't get a dime for this wholehearted endorsement :) of her workshops, I just think they are extremely helpful.

Apr 12, Business Networking

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 14:01:03 GMT

Here's a useful post from a very interesting site: www.DoItInPerson.com. The post talk about business networking as a cost effective investment you can make for your business. Contributed by Aron Schoenfeld.

Apr 6, Interview Thank You Letter Samples

Tue, 06 Apr 2010 08:07:47 GMT

Interview Thank You Letters give you another shot at presenting to your potential employee how you're a perfect fit for the job they are filling. These samples can be modified to fit a thank you note or email.

Apr 4, Top 7 Phone Interview Tips

Sun, 04 Apr 2010 04:44:45 GMT

These phone interview tips can help you prepare for any job interview, whether by phone or in person. If you approach the phone interview in the same way you approach any other job interview, you'll be prepared and do well.

Mar 23, Covering The Basics: What is Communication?

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 05:11:37 GMT

The post includes the most basic definition of communication plus other flavors of communication (interpersonal, business) that may be useful to know.

Mar 17, Delegating Work to Avoid Being Swamped

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 06:49:47 GMT

I got a comment in the mail from someone struggling to delegate work to avoid being swamped. The comment made me think many of us can relate to the feeling expressed by the person that sent the email. Here's the post where you can read more about this... Imelda P.S. I messed up and now I have three posts about the same thing: One post is spelled corrected and the other two are not. Just when I think I've figured out this system, I discover I haven't.

Mar 12, Avoiding Conflict... or Resolving It?

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 05:30:26 GMT

Conflict, even constructive conflict, just ruins the mood. Given the option, most people will settle for fake peace rather than pay the price of authentic peace that calls for us to engage in conflict every now and then.

Feb 14, The Mock Job Interview

Sun, 14 Feb 2010 04:10:08 GMT

Added another page to the Job Interview section. The page shares information about the mock job interview, which is a great tool to prepare for a job interview. Think of the mock interview as tough homework. You may not like it but when you complete it, you are fully confident and ready for that important test. Prepare and practice until you do a mock job interview well and you'll shine at the real job interview.

Feb 10, Defensive Body Language at Work

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 13:56:17 GMT

Even before we acknowledge that we are getting defensive, our bodies begin to tell our story of defensiveness. We may start by crossing our arms, or we may hold our hand out, as if trying to stop the perceived or real attack.

Jan 29, A Story about Appreciation for a Teacher

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:05:31 GMT

I received a story from a teacher that was shown appreciation in a special way. The fact that the memory of the gift stayed with her through the years shows how powerful an appreciation gesture can be when it's genuine and specific.

Jan 27, Contributions to the Site

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 08:32:01 GMT

The site now has a couple of articles that were written by people other than yours truly. The first article talks about Why Business Coaching makes Business Sense. The second article talks about Ways to Deal with Verbal Conflict. Check them out...

Jan 14, Language Differences

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 22:25:08 GMT

I received a question about language differences in communication at work. You can read the question and my answer on the full post. The question struck a cord with me, it reminded me the many struggles I went through as a non native English speaking professional trying to make it in the US workplace.

Jan 8, What is Good Communication?

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 06:52:29 GMT

What is good communication? The easiest way to answer this question is to contrast the habits of good and bad communication. Check out the comparison chart in the full post.

Dec 31, What writing skills do entry level employees need?

Thu, 31 Dec 2009 22:36:35 GMT

I teach communications courses and I want to provide students with real-world examples of the kinds of writing skills they will need on their first

Dec 8, New Spanish Section - Nueva Seccion en Espaol

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 07:56:03 GMT

I'm starting to add pages in Spanish, in case you're interested. El sitio tiene ahora paginas en espanol, arrancando con el tema de Barreras de Comunicacion. (Perdon por la falta de acentos y tilde, cosas de la computadora)

Dec 4, Become a Communicator

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 03:28:42 GMT

If you'd like to become a Communicator and start publishing your articles in people-communicating.com, please fill out the form below and submit it for consideration. We'll review your request and get back to you within a day or two.

Dec 2, Jealousy at Work

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 23:18:20 GMT

A quote from Jennifer James:

"Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative - self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them."

Nov 26, My Boss Is Failing At His Job. How Can I Help Him Before He Gets Canned?

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 19:49:04 GMT

My boss took the job because he wanted a raise. The company gave him the job because there were no other applicants. He is inexperienced,

Nov 24, Job Interview Body Language

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 19:47:57 GMT

Job Interview Body Language: Nonverbal Communication in Interviews

Being able to decode the job interview body language is very useful, just don't make it the center of your attention.

Focus instead on preparation to build up your self confidence.

Check out the guidelines provided here and if you can, video record yourself while you rehearse your answers to possible interview questions. That way you can determine if your body is sending the right nonverbal cues.

Nov 23, Ralph Waldo Emerson Quote

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:07:32 GMT

Con lo que haces, haces tanto ruido que no me dejas oir lo que t dices. What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.

Nov 21, Top 10 Interview Questions and Answers

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 07:27:08 GMT

I compiled a list of the top 10 interview questions and how to answer them so you can ace the interview and get the job offer. The most important point of reading these questions is to focus your attention on preparing for the interview. The questions may be asked in various different ways, but in the end, the questions are all asked to find out if there's a good fit between the job opening and the candidate applying for the job.

Nov 15, FAQ About Communication in the Workplace

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 20:30:27 GMT

The website has a new section called Workplace Communication FAQ, where I've started a list of the most common questions I get asked about communication at work. I invite you to submit questions that you think need to be included in the FAQ section.

Nov 13, Self Expression at 51

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 05:08:49 GMT

A few days ago I turned 51 years old. A year ago I quit my executive position in local government to start a business on my own. The timing couldn't have been worse, with the economy tanking in a way I hadn't seen in my entire life. Despite my poor economic timing, my decision to go on my own was right. I'm having the best time ever, I feel I've finally found my life purpose, which I've been looking for ever since I was 17 years old. I know now, with a conviction of the heart, that my purpose in life is to help people find their own greatness and express it in whatever way they see fit, so they can be a contribution to society. When I was young, I got a degree in Computer Science just because it was a "promising field" to get into, I didn't really know that's what I wanted to do. For the next 30 years, I worked in Information Technology, where I discovered that I'm a geek at heart and an idealist that believes that people can live in peace and be good to one another. Putting two and two together, I recently started this website and a consulting practice to help people communicate more effectively in the workplace. My intention for this website and my consulting practice is to create a space for people to express who they are and what they think, and to find common ground to work well with each other, so they can be a contribution to this world. I love what I do, my kids told me that they don't think I'm working, they said I looked too happy in front of my laptop. I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Confucius: "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life"

Nov 2, How Breaking Workplace Rules May Lead to Conflict at Work

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 02:01:10 GMT

Breaking workplace rules - purposefully or unknowingly -may lead to conflict in the workplace.

Nov 1, Favoritism at Work

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 19:41:30 GMT

Work favoritism can sneak up on people and start a chain reaction of ill will against the favored employee and the unfair manager. Find favoritism at work and stop it as early as possible

Oct 31, Passive Aggressive Behavior and Communication

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 23:12:28 GMT

If someone driving you crazy with their passive aggressive behavior? You know they are being aggressive, it's just that they don't do it openly

Oct 28, Managing Conflict in the Workplace

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 21:17:37 GMT

At work...are you dealing with backstabbing, or bullying, or favoritism? Or perhaps you're dealing with disagreements that have escalated into heated arguments. Any of these communication problems can grow to create other problems, that in turn can develop into full blown conflict at work. Check out this new section in the website about managing workplace conflict.

Oct 25, Communication Barrier Prejudging and Filtering

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 19:00:08 GMT

This weekend I caught myself being judgmental about a lake that I visited in Arizona. I realized I was putting a label on everything: That mountain is beautiful, it looks like green velvet. Or This water is amazing, it looks like melted glass. I even started thinking Why does the water look like melted glass? At some point I realized I had stopped taking in nature's beauty to label it, compare it and analyze it. We sometimes do this with people. When they are telling us something, we start putting labels, analyzing and judging what we hear. We stop listening and communicating. The lake experience led me to modify the page "Communication Barrier - Prejudging and Filtering". I added an exercise that helps control our internal judge, so to speak.

Oct 12, Communication Quotes to Reflect and Inspire

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 19:41:16 GMT

I've added more communication quotes. The list is growing too long to fit in one page, so I broke it down in two pages. Pretty easy to find and follow.

Oct 1, Google Wave: the New Email?

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 03:03:29 GMT

Emails are still sequential, "waves" are real time Google just unveiled their new real time collaboration tool: Google Wave. This tool allows people to create and edit "waves" - combinations of conversations and rich content documents - in real time. On the Google Wave page, you start a "wave" (a conversation and/or a document) and invite others to join by dragging their pictures to the wave space. The tool allows people to share data from multiple sources in real time (or live). After you create a wave and invite others to join, you can add electronic information such as: a blog post, or a tweet, or a map. People in the wave can edit it right there and then, from wherever they are. The updates are reflected both in the wave space and the other spaces: blog, twitter, Google Maps or whatever tool people are using. Email is getting transformed... Here is a link to a video that demonstrates Google Wave.

Sep 30, Defensive Communication in the Workplace

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 05:44:25 GMT

Defensive communication is needed to deal with direct or indirect verbal hostility, including bullies in the workplace